Monday, May 30, 2016

Heroes and Holidays: When Your Fire Fighter Spouse Has to Work on a Holiday

Happy Memorial Day. We are a blessed nation. So many lives have been lost serving our country while fighting for our freedom.

With that said, let me begin this post by acknowledging the fact that countless jobs require us to work holidays. My career before having children was in retail management. I know first-hand what it is like to be at work wishing I was home with my family. Which is among the reasons I was reluctant to begin this blog. I know there are far worse scenarios than my husband having to work a 24-hour shift. I realize he could be stationed on the other side of the world for months on end. I am the product of a single parent household, so I also understand how fortunate I am to having a loving spouse who is there to do this thing we call life together. However, I also am aware of how quickly life can change and how my husband and all other first responders put their lives on the line each and every day. For those of us who are on the other side of that at home, the dreaded reality of what could be is a thought not always easily suppressed. That is why I wanted to begin this blog. If my family is trying to figure it all out, then I am certain we are not alone. That has already been confirmed twice today. Once from a seasoned fire wife and once from a new fire wife. So, here is to Heroes and Holidays.

If you ask any fire fighter or first responder that I know, they will never call themselves a hero. That’s not a title they set out to attain with their position. To them, they are just men and women with a job to do. Yet, when they pull up to a burning house, rescue someone stuck inside a car, or offer a listening ear in an intense moment—they become that person’s hero. And to those of us so fortunate to call them family, those of us who see the pain in their eyes when they did all they could for someone and it wasn’t enough—they are our hero. So days like today when others are celebrating with cookouts and family outings, it can make for a long day when your spouse or significant other is on shift.

My husband’s very first fire shift was Thanksgiving Day. Thanksgiving was always a special holiday for us. My mother-in-law and most of my husband’s siblings live several hours away. We are a large family so it is hard to get everyone together. This was the one time of year that we knew we could all be together. Fire Life changed that and all holidays to follow. For us, there was no waiting around for the time that he would have to work a holiday. That first year I believe we hit every holiday or the eve of every holiday. We had a lot to learn!

Christmas was no exception. I think the first two years, my husband worked Christmas Eve. That wasn’t too bad, but it still wasn’t the same. I was used to Mr. Handsome helping me get everything just right the night before and all of us waking up together Christmas morning. We are always last minute getting presents wrapped. Let’s just say one Christmas Eve my husband spent some down time wrapping presents at the station. I believe he also had to put a bike together that first year. Our pictures show him still wearing his fire department t-shirt because he came straight home from his shift and we were all waiting for gift time.

My favorite and most crazy holiday adjustment was Miracle 2’s second Christmas. My husband had to work CHRISTMAS DAY! How in the world were we going to pull this off??!! It was going to be the first year that she really understood what was going on. We didn’t want to do Christmas on Christmas Eve. Many people do and that’s cool. We just wanted to find a way to stick to our tradition. My mother and sister always spend the night and we do Christmas Eve fun together—cooking for Christmas day, decorating gingerbread men, playing some games, whatever low-key things we can think of. Well, that night we sent to daddy to bed a bit early. With my mom and sister’s help, we took care of the final touches and grabbed a few short hours of sleep. Then, we all woke up in the wee hours of the night to have Christmas so it would feel like Christmas morning. My man went to work tired out I am sure, but the fact that he was willing to make that sacrifice to keep a tradition and make Fire Life work for us makes him all the more my hero!

We’ve made many other adjustments to our holiday routines including trips to the fire station with cookie cake, gift bags, and balloons so we could have a quick birthday celebration since Mr. Handsome’s birthday seems to consistently fall when he is on shift. We may or may not have shown up in the Wal-Mart parking lot with a birthday surprise once because it was his birthday and he was spending his shift in the heat of May collecting donations for Give Burns the Boot.

I think the key is finding ways to still celebrate the holidays, the milestones, and all the other important events with the most important people. Some holidays we will be fortunate to spend them with our fire fighter. Other times we may have to do it early or later. Like today, my husband had to work a side job. (That aspect of Fire Life is another whole post.) Actually, he just got home. So we decided a few days ago that we’d do our grilling at night and our girls could “Night Swim” in the pool. It might not sound like anything special to you, but our two miracles have talked about night swimming for days! They are excited and that makes it worth it all.

How does your family make Fire Life or any other Work Life that interferes with holidays work?

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