Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Damage Control: When Your Words Create a Storm

Lists.
I have one for everything because I don't want to forget anything. I can remember a zillion things, yet forget the most important thing on my to-do list. Oh, and my list must be written. I love the modern conveniences of technology; but there is just something about putting pencil to paper.

Admittedly, I've always struggled with knowing when to keep my mouth shut or maybe it's more of a knowing how to say what I need to once I've opened my mouth. I've said way too many things in this lifetime that I wish I could take back. I haven't always acted Christ-like.

My family can attest to how God has helped me tremendously in this area. I often joke that when I asked for His help, he made me silent. The girl who would once "go off" on anyone, now has times she can't say a word because she knows one word would turn into a flood of words.

We can all agree that a raging storm usually creates a large mess that someone has to clean up. It can take a really long time to clean up storm damage. Often the damage is not repairable. That's how our words can be which is why this chick had to pray for a change.

I had read the words of Proverbs 15:1 countless times since childhood. Then, one day I read them and knew that they had to become more than words on a page for me--more than advice read but never put into action. But how?

For myself, that meant doing what I do best when I need a reminder. I wrote the words to Proverbs 15:1 on a chalkboard that hangs in my kitchen: A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

That was a defining moment for me. Our kitchen is the hub of our home. On school mornings that is where Mr. Handsome typically finds me after his fire shift. It's where my kids know to look first for their momma. It's where we prepare meals that become part of memories once we're all at the dinner table. It can also be a tense place when trying to prepare a meal or clean-up while the other tasks on my to-do list remain undone.

I read those words every morning before beginning my day. I read them over and over and over some days. They were a lifeline for me when something or someone would frustrate me. I'm not just talking about at home. I'm talking about everyday, life in general, frustrations. For nearly a year I left Proverbs 15:1 right there.

Then, when I felt it was time to change it, I couldn't.
Why?
Because I was scared I would forget the words. I had come so far. I didn't want to hurt anyone else with my words. As I stared at the verse with eraser in hand, I was reminded of the scripture in Psalm that talks about hiding the word in the heart (Psalm 119:11).

As a little girl, out of fear I would sleep with my Bible like a child sleeps with a stuffed animal--snuggled up tight. I knew the Word of God was powerful. I still believe that power, but I also understand the importance of studying and memorizing scripture. We are blessed to have the B-I-B-L-E so accessible. Sadly, that is not the case for many.

I need to hide the word in my heart.  I need to study it. Will I still make a mess of my words on occassion? Yes, because I'm still a work in progress. We all are.

I will have to apologize. I will have to right some wrongs and participate in storm clean-up. My hope is that those clean-ups become less frequent as I continue to learn how to control my words and actions according to God.

We all struggle with something. Maybe your struggle isn't your reaction to other's actions. It can be anything that causes you to fumble in your walk with Christ. Do not give up just because you fall down during a storm.
Get up. Do the clean up. Then, fill your head up with HIS truth.